Why I am Here: My Story
Society likes to tell us we aren’t good enough. Millions of dollars are spent advertising to people about how they can lose their “last 5 pounds” and promoting different diets that will make them love their body again. Women who are stick thin are praised for their bodies, while those with curves are told they need to strive for a thigh gap.
Society’s definition of health has become distorted into thinking that weighing next to nothing, following restrictive diets that neglect foods we love, and always needing to improve our bodies is “healthy”.
I’m here to tell you it’s not.
As much as health revolves around physical wellbeing, it also includes psychological, social, and spiritual wellbeing. In my own experience, when I start to restrict certain foods because they are “bad” for me, I mess with my psychological wellbeing.
When I was a senior in high school, my desire to be society’s definition of “healthy” resulted in anorexia. I exercised excessively, ate as little as possible, and saw a distorted vision of myself in the mirror.
Every day became a battle with myself.
It’s difficult to describe the thoughts that went through my head during that period of my life. I felt guilty after every meal, no matter what I ate. I constantly worried about gaining weight, even though I was stick-thin. No matter how much exercise I did, I felt like I needed to do more.
I was not healthy, even though I was society’s definition of healthy.
It wasn’t until my sophomore year of college that I fully recovered from my eating disorder. Recovery for me was odd. Most people who suffer from anorexia seek professional treatment, stop exercising, and eat high calorie meals to gain the weight back.
I didn’t seek professional treatment, but I did find Jesus.
I realized my identity in Christ, an identity not focused on my outward appearance, but on His Spirit inside of me. I ran a marathon during my recovery too, something that a professional would never recommend. But it was during the last 6 miles of my marathon that I felt the presence of God in the most real way I have felt Him.
Now, I can proudly stand here today and say that I no longer struggle with guilt, shame or negative thoughts related to food. And it is freeing.
My mission is to encourage women to live boldly and confidently based on their worth in Christ.
I know that finding balance in exercise, nutrition, and self-care can be challenging. Sticking to an exercise routine isn’t always doable, and giving yourself grace isn’t always easy. Allowing yourself to eat cake for breakfast on your birthday shouldn’t cause you to restrict and exercise excessively for the hours or entire week following it. It should be our goal to get to a place where we can eat the cake and move on, because who we are isn’t based on our pant size.
I HOPE TO EMPOWER WOMEN TO
EXERCISE BECAUSE THEY LOVE THEMSELVES,
EAT TO NOURISH AND SUSTAIN THEIR BODY,
AND VIEW THEMSELVES AS BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE OF WHO THEY ARE IN CHRIST.